So speaking of ebbs and flows, I want to share a goofy, and somewhat emotional, moment that happened last night.
I was at the gym, on the bike, listening to Kanye West. When I came back I was in a silly mood and started dancing for Cheryl singing whatever song was playing on my phone.
Cheryl, a fan of my singing AND dancing, started to couch dance. She had no idea what song I was listening to, she just wanted to be a part of it.
I put on her favorite video on the Apple TV: Salt N’ Peppa’s Shoop and pulled her off the couch and we started to dance.
In the past, when Cheryl claimed she could hear, she always asked for music. The first song she requested was Shoop. The neighbor knowing this and hearing the song, texted: “can she hear?”
I texted back that no, she couldn’t, but we were having a dance party anyway. She immediately texted back: “I wanna come.”
I told her to come over and she joined us for Cheryl’s other favorite song, Whatta Man.
The three of us danced and sang loudly. Even Cheryl attempted to sing the parts she knew. Our neighbor cracked a joke that we were literally the whitest people on the planet at the moment and she wasn’t wrong.
At the end of the song, Cheryl was tired and returned to the couch. The neighbor went back home and I retired to take a shower because I was still sweaty from my workout.
While I was in the shower, I reflected on the moment we all just shared and started to tear up.
For a moment in time it felt like the days before Cheryl’s accident and I got sad, missing those days. Wishing none of this had happened to her. Wishing “old Cheryl” was still around. I lived in that moment for a couple of minutes before thinking about the impromptu dance party.
It a was sign that maybe one day we can get back to there, but right now, it was merely a moment. It made me feel better. It’s okay to remember the past, but you can’t stay in it so long that your forget there’s a future.
As a caregiver we only get these brief moments and we have to embrace them. We have to live in them and we always have to remember:
There will always be more dance parties.
(NOTE: The videos above are old. They were from the last time her hearing came back)